Category Archives: Politics
Don’t go crazy it’s not another Lewinsky incident. Sarah Jessica Parker has left her Sex in the City days behind her but that won’t keep her from rubbing other parts with President Obama. Before you go crazy about her using her nose to remove some crazy mole from his back I am talking about SJP and President Obama rubbing shoulders at her West Village townhouse for a overly priced 40k a pop presidential fundraiser. Here you will be able to sip champagne and dine on a lovely array of cigarettes, air and the pompous pretentious attitude of people while they talk their facelifts off, give a bored distant stare to Anna Wintour while you’re at it. If you’re looking to catch a glimpse of A-Listers you won’t make it very far as Bleecker, Charles, Perry, and West 10th Streets have all been barricaded. Sorry you Manolo loving Devil in Prada people looks like you might have to take the long way home, so over the river and through the woods barefoot in 12 feets of snow while breast feeding your baby is a good way to tell this Village Fairytale. You can thank the Voice‘s Robert Sietsema for snapping the pictures of SJP’s townhouse and a view of Bleeker.
Alive still? Exactly so remember when Bristol Palin got nailed behind a Dunkin Donuts by Levi Johnston and then squatted over a mud hole dropping out a bald headed screaming baby while she tried to finish her PSAT essay? Yeah this ho wants to lynch Obama for being ok with same-sex marriage because she feels that only a mother and father team can raise a child in a healthy manner befitting of her lifestyle. Let that sink in for a moment while you read a blog post where she waxes wisdom from the two braincells she rubbed together to create thought.
While it’s great to listen to your kids’ ideas, there’s also a time when dads simply need to be dads. In this case, it would’ve been helpful for him to explain to Malia and Sasha that while her friends parents are no doubt lovely people, that’s not a reason to change thousands of years of thinking about marriage. Or that – as great as her friends may be – we know that in general kids do better growing up in a mother/father home. Ideally, fathers help shape their kids’ worldview.
I know this tricka heffa is on some other stuff right? Let her spout something she knows nothing about because we see how well she turned out with a mom and dad raising her. Lets see she gets knocked up and isn’t married become a teenage unwed mother with a bastard child and uses her mother’s clout to keep her baby daddy from seeing her son. She knows what she is talking about, someone stuff a dirty wet sponge with mildew and sars in her mouth, it resembles her personality.
There’s usually some queen burning on the dance floor to some Britney Spears being a slave for someone that doesn’t involve lynching, whips or chains, unfortunately. This is Lindsay Lohan however who was a wonderful guest at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner where she wined and dined alongside such inspirational and moral people like Rick Santorum, Kris Jenner and Kim Kardashian. Her date lawyer Shawn Chapman Holley made sure to keep our girls’ hand steady so she didn’t lose her footing and fall face first into a line on a mirror. Luckily Linds was well behaved, even posing with Rick Santorum for pictures. Still there was the taffeta dress from the prom of 1988 and escaping to bathroom every 10 minutes for whatever reason, uti? Don’t get any ideas this didn’t involve bending over a toilet seat her hair lightly skimming the surface of toilet water and snow going up. It seems she was trying to sneak a cig because it calls her name ever since she booked the role of Elizabeth Taylor since she doesn’t normally smoke. Yeah she is blowing smoke because we all know that on the set of Ugly Betty she smoked like a chimney and tweeted like a squirrel on Red Bull and whenever she left a room a orange dust settled on every surface. Girl you been had and I am not just talking by every b list actor in Hollywood. The evening progressed in an orderly fashion and didn’t end with stolen jewelry, a restraining order or a missing persons report, kudos!
In America we have elected officials to hold up our morality in every situation. Things such as gays in the military, war, how much to tip a tranny prostitute after a handy in the back of a stretch limousine while your wife sits in the restaurant thinking you’re getting the valet and of course who to invite to dinner. Everyone has been salivating over the fact that our political officials with their such high standard for moral decency would invite Kim Kardashian and Lindsay Lohan to the White House Correspondents’ Dinner. It’s shocking but true until you realize it’s Fox News who invited the Nose Candy whisperer and DAT ASS to take up precious air and seats. Thanks to Gawker we now know this:
Kardashian was invited by the news network; Greta Van Susteren and her husband John Coale invited Lohan. Kardashian is no stranger to the gala, having attended in 2010 with Van Susteren. Her plus-one for the evening will be momager Kris Jenner. Lohan’s publicist told WaPo’s The Reliable Source that his client will be bringing along her defense attorney Shawn Holley.
Good idea Lilo bring the attorney in case you go cray cray and throw a glass of white win in Michelle Obama’s face for bumping you only to be escorted off the premises. Then a story will leak that the girl has been corresponding with terrorist and only attended enough flight learning classes to take off but never quite finished how to land, allegedly! Hey it’s Fox News they can spin a kitten playing with yarn in it trying to tie up a pilot of Air Force one and holding them hostage. Just sayin’. Them some simple bitches.
It seems that Obama wants us to turn into a nation where music guides us into a new tomorrow. Basically a real live version of Glee or Smash that will have us stopping in the middle of 5th avenue breaking out into song and dance like we’re in The Wiz. It seems that President Obama just couldn’t help himself from helping out with some lyrics to Sweet Home Chicago with BB King and Mick Jagger. Hell it couldn’t be any worse people right? Well unless you’re Elisabeth Hasselbeck who thinks that Obama needs to stop singing on key and make jobs and lower gas prices instead of having fun! How dare he!! Maybe she forgot our country fell apart while Bush was in office or she was too busy pushing out alien looking pinched faced brats to remember. I still love Bill Maher’s idea of selling her to an overseas country as a sex slave, unfortunately it wouldn’t last long before they threw her on the coast of Jersey with a note scribbled “good luck” on it. Damn even a third world country won’t take this bitch. Now let the warm wash over you as Obama let’s his menthol cool voice make your mama want to turn back time.
Someone cue the laugh track. We all know that Newt Gingrich is a douchemonster without a shred of decency so what do you do when faced with a bigoted bobble headed pompous ass running for office? Why you write a tribute to his infidelities, bigotry and of course how he looks like any moment he’s going to pitch forward because of his gigantic head and take out a school of deaf students with their silent screams signing for help to avail. Well it seems that a video was made to the tune of Adele’s Someone Like You regarding Newt boy but changed the title to Anybody But Newt. That’s pretty funny. I don’t believe it’s Adele singing or that it was the Grammys but its fun, so take a listen.