Speaking of Jessica Simpson, did you know that OutofTouch Weekly is saying that Jess had to have a c section instead of delivering her preteen girl Maxi into the world through her canal of love? Somehow they have pulled Miss Cleo from her jail cell threatened her with a sawed off broom stick and she let her loose lips sink ships because this shizz has not gone down. In my NOT so humble opinion that baby escaped the womb like a prisoner from Alcatraz and has moved to Connecticut changed her face and is now stripping under the name Delicious. Jess is just holding some SERIOUS water weight. I could be wrong, but I’m not. Considering that we are not having this conversation on Noah’s Ark:The Sequel after she gave birth and her water breaking flooding the Earth and once again ridding the world of filth and evil. The successors have been chosen in the form of the Hansons to repopulate the world, the Jonas brothers were top choice until it turned out that none of them were tops and they giggle every time they saw a vagina. Luckily the gays are spared just to decorate and create the new fall line, while a few lesbians mill around in order to rebuild. I just don’t know what to believe but instinct tells me to start wearing floods, they are in fashion after all, because that thing is going to spring a leak any moment now. Thank God I live in a walk up, Hallelujer!