It’s been a busy day of…. well it’s been busy. Don’ worry I didn’t forget about your treat for the day because you have been such good boys and girls. Even in spite of that go ahead and take a gander at Marcello Alvaez. This Brazilian model is definitely heating things up. It would appear selfie is a word that translates because Mr. Perfect Bone Structure has mastered it and made it quite adorable/hot. So enjoy him while you can something tells me there won’t be much left so get it while it’s hot. Don’t worry I know but still, #UrWelcome.
Welcome to New York City who’s signature fruit is always clad and in Gucci and our signature sound is that of a jackhammer outside our apartment at 5 AM. It’s been a rough year in this city hurricanes, health scares the return of harem pants, but Spring has sprung finally!! Let’s all get out tank tops and cut off denim shorts out of storage and wave hello to Spring, who has just decided to grace us with it’s presence just in time for Summer. Ah yes, Spring just another hot air blowing queen who is always running late and never comes at the right time. #RUDE
It is said that clothes don’t make a man. Whoever said that obviously lived like the unabomber in one of the middle square states and not the sprawling place we call home, New York City. In this city where they snatch the shirt off your back while walking down Fifth avenue the important part is the label. Once again I sat through another stirring conversation zoning in and out until I honed in on a statement revolving around the fact that in advertising you make money by wearing your strongest suit, and that suit better be designer. True style needs no label, other than possibly dry clean only, but it got me to thinking about how serious you take someone who is dressed in a tailored suit versus someone wearing cargo pants, ew.
I have never been a label whore, sure I may rock the latest runway fashion but it helps that my whole body hangs from high cheekbones, a strong jawline and some of us are just built for sample sizes, so pouring yourself into the latest Christian Dior when it fits perfectly is just the lime wedge on this tall drink of vodka. While some reserve the right to shop for special occasions, weddings, births and funerals, some of us shop until we drop. And by drop we mean faint when our at the sign of a credit card bill looks like the budget for a small foreign country, for a year. Some people eat their feelings I swipe mine away, it’s emotional shopping, happy,sad, frustrated, happily frustrated, take your pick. Who needs financial stability or to own property when you can have 200 pairs of shoes with matching accessories? Sure you may have no where to store them in the field you will be living in when you forget to pay your rent but that old woman who lived in her shoes seemed content, even if there was no running water, maid service or an esthetician within walking distance.
No one likes to play dress up more than me and I am really good at it, but this is where it pays to have a uniform. Keep a few timeless pieces, but keep it simple and keep it fitted, which goes a long way of having style. The one great thing about New York City, you can black anytime, anywhere and more than just once. Opt for some colorful accessories but don’t break the bank. Greys, blacks and whites can get boring so throw on those neon pink patent leather pumps or add some jade for summer and be on your way. When you’re rocking your uniform no one will be asking who’s on your label they will be too busy envying your tiny waist, killer shoes and skin that is glowing since you can afford a facial every week at Bliss. Designer labels are fun but I’d rather have a condo in the 212. While labels are fun they’re fleeting but a condo overlooking the Natural History Museum is priceless.
You know you love it.
Kate Moss has certainly seen better days. Yet straight men would still flock to her feet to get a chance to “hit this.” Looks like Kate has already been hit, in the face with a shovel and left for dead. She isn’t the only one with a face that looks like 40 miles of bad road. Take a look below. Enjoy feeling better about yourself, #UrWelcome.
Versace, Gucci and Dior oh my!! New York City is different than most places, sure you’re still judged by your house, job and what you wear but the important part is WHO you’re wearing. You may live in a 400 square foot apartment on 72 and 3rd but you are also wearing patent leather Manolo Blahnik sandals and that’s the important part. In this city labels go a long way to separate the haves and the have nots, but I started to wonder if our labels are leaping off our tags and onto each other. The more thought I gave this idea the more I started to wonder if our favorite labels are being applied to more than our favorite jeans.
The fun part about living in such a busy active place like New York City is that you meet people at every turn, whether you want to or not. This is a tale of not wanting to meet anyone. My friend relayed a story of going and about and unbeknownst to him he was slapped with a label that was out of place and did not sit well with him. Being of sound mind and comfortable in his masculinity my friend is a frequent guest of gay establishments, just not the bathrooms, this open minded business leads to the questioning of his sexuality. This comes as a shock to me as he does not give off the impression of a higher understanding of our Gospel according to our trusted Lord and savior Cher. He is the true example that homosexuality is not a disease or he would have been face down ass up years ago behind G lounge with a ball gag. But alas he still pines for women, natural women that were born that way and not the product of a doctor on 59th and Lex.
This situation really made me think, did we judge people so much we have to put a label on it?? Why do we have to put each into a category in order to feel better about ourselves?? Or is this just the trappings of our own insecurity and a way to exude our own control and feel powerful?? Well, yeah. Tossing a label onto someone is just another way you think you are displaying your power and trying to cover up your own insecurities. That is until that person you’re trying to judge bitch slaps you with a monologue of insults that you don’t quite understand. Therefore taking their power back and embarassing you at the same time which we will then do nothing more than have a chuckle at your expense with two snaps a spin and a twirl and a clap. And that’s how you do it. Leave labels to your frocks because we have had enough of this judging, unless it’s a Kardashian then judge away. What?
You know you love it.
In this day and age we spend most of our time on our phones texting, sexting and picture messaging until our fingers cramp. The age of innocence is over and we have ushered in the age of uninnocence with a sext that features an up the skirt shot with no panties. Phone sex 2.0 is well underway but don’t think that it ends there. Our lives are on our phones and when that happens every indiscretion creeps back into the limelight. There’s no such thing as sneaky when your phone has GPS and every text and email is backed up. Be afraid.
One major problem rears its ugly head when you inevitably start to rant and rave and send incriminating evidence via text to someone. This will ultimately lead to them using it against you, obviously. You have always been taught if you don’t have something nice to say then don’t say anything at all, this is a rule that we have to apply even in written word. There are the do’s and don’t of telling someone off or making a point, the one thing that you DO NOT do is put it in writing. NO text, NO email, not even voicemail that can be transcribed into text kids, this is very serious. However when making a point that you know will sting always be sure to wear a killer outfit, hold a martini glass and shoes that are made for walking all over people. Think heels, if you have to K.O. someone why not wear killer footwear? The moral of the story is if you don’t have something nice to say then let your Jimmy Choos do the talking for you.
You know you love it.